Nun habe ich mich einen großen Schmerz gefühlt
And here, the promised lyrics.
Poem by Adalbert von Chamisso, set to music by Robert Schumann.
Pardon my horrible translation. Hopefully it's comprehensible enough...
Nun hast du mir den ersten Schmerz getan, der aber traf.
Du schläfst, du harter, unbarmherz'ger Mann,
Den Todesschlaf.
Es blicket die Verlaß’ne vor sich hin,
Die Welt ist leer, ist leer.
Geliebet hab' ich und gelebt, ich bin nicht lebend mehr.
Ich zieh' mich in mein Inn'res still zurück, der Schleier fällt,
Da hab' ich dich und mein verlor'nes Glück,
Du meine Welt!
My lousy translation:
Now, for the first time you have hurt me, but this hurt/pain is cruel.
You hard, pitiless man, you are sleeping
The sleep of death.
Left all alone, I gaze before me;
The world is empty, is empty.
I have loved and lived, and now I have no more life/and now I am alive no longer.
Softly I draw back into myself, the veil falls,
There I am with you and my lost happiness -
You, my whole world!
Tränen auf tränen dann, stürzet hernieder...
I wouldn't say I broke down during voice lesson this evening, but rather - I cried. Nope, I wasn't scolded (I was never scolded :P), nor am I overwhelmed by the stress Frau Lim put me through every lesson. Let's leave this with a touch of suspense first while I explain in detail.
Still on Schumann's
Frauenliebe und Leben, we worked on the last two songs. And there! After less than three months, I've finally lived through a
woman's love and life (
Frauenliebe und Leben). We're moving on to Mozart's operatic arias from next week onwards. Ah, Italian,
not at last.
A brief intro on Schumann's
Frauenliebe und Leben:
1.
Seit ich ihn gesehen - "Since I saw him". This woman met this young man and fell madly in love with him. However, he did not know about it.
2.
Er, der Herrlichste von allen - "He, the most wonderful of all men". She continues to sing his praises and belittle herself. At the middle section she sings "Hear not my silent prayer, you must not know of this lowly existence, my glorious Star!"
3.
Ich kann's nicht fassen, nicht glauben - "I cannot grasp it, I cannot believe it". She is in disbelief, because this man she secretly admired just confessed his love to her.
4.
Du Ring an meinem Finger - "You ring on my finger". She now wears an engagement ring on her finger. Her lover has proposed to her.
5.
Helft mir, ihr Schwestern - "Help me, sisters". Her close friends came to help prepare her on her wedding day.
6.
Süßer Freund, du blickest - "Sweet friend, you look (at me in wonder)". She explains to her husband why she is crying. At the end of the song we found out that she is pregnant and is weeping for joy.
7.
An meinem Herzen, an meiner Brust - "On my heart, on my breast". She is overjoyed and excited, and sings about the joy for being a mother. [This is what I sang today. Left totally breathless, because the song is so fast and the phrases are so long! Yet the excitement of a mother - though I'm inexperienced on that aspect, lol - must be expressed.]
8.
Nun hast du mir den ersten Schmerz getan - "Now you have caused me pain for the first time". The last song of the cycle. Let's recap: She meets her lover and marries him. Then she gives birth to their lovechild. And now the lover has caused her great pain - because he now sleeps the Sleep of Death. And the song cycle concluded with a piano interlude with most of the materials extracted from
Seit ich ihn gesehen, the very first song of the cycle.
Yes, he passed away, and the setting of the song is so depressing, that I, minutes after Frau Lim started to work on the song, was reacting to the text with silent tears. Although I never liked Schumann (those of you who know my "musical" side should already know that), I cannot deny the fact that this man is a master when it comes to melody-weaving. The text from the last song is sad, but when set into music by Schumann it tells a devastating story. You expect it to be sung in a very slow tempo. And each of the long phrase is made out of repeated pitches. Would you then expect the song to carry a boring tune? Exactly the opposite. The first line of the song starts with an A, and the rest of the pitches are on D. And every sung repeated note tore and slashes at my heart. How is that possible? Schumann's mastery of song setting and word painting. For those seriously interested in how the song is really like, because I know I'm a failure at expressing myself, please look for the score or recording. The song cycle is "Frauenliebe und Leben", Opus 42, from Robert Schumann; the last song (the 8th song), marked "Adagio" and in D minor.
I'll post the text of the depressing song later, with translations promised.
Muede, deshalb kann ich nicht denken
Sang to my heart's content for tonight's rehearsal. Perhaps sitting at the last row isn't bad after all. Nobody cares whatever racket you make (like how loud you sing) because they can't turn back to look who's rows behind. Haha. Yep, Herr Lim's presence is that frightening. Managed to hit all the B-flats! Well, my fever was long gone and my sore throat recovered just yesterday, so finally do I dare to sing Beethoven again! And I'm glad I made the initiative to run through the Mass myself on Sunday night (I sang for two hours, from 10 to 12mn. Speaking about inconsiderate neighbours XP), coz finally, 3-4 weeks before performance, I have learnt up my parts, and am rather confident of myself now. And because of the amount of B-flats (and a number of Bs) I sang, I'm sure my voice is hyped up for tomorrow's voice lesson. Yep, most probably. My voice is able to stay warmed-up overnight, if you didn't already know. :)
Aber meine Liebe hat ich entgegen
Beautiful.
Der Frühling kommt in Deutschland, so denn in meinem Herz
I'm now at Granny's, seeking a moment of peace as I lie lazily on the couch. The chirping of the birds is endless - but that is a welcoming sound. Unlike weekends, it is extremely quiet here. The sound of Grandpa sweeping the fallen leaves accompanied with the symphonic feathered chorus distract me from the burden of work, and brings a rural image to mind. It's cool here, and peaceful. The hourly chime of the chlock reprimands me and cruelly reminds me that I've to retreat back to work in an hour's time. Yet, I shall not yield! Well, at least not yet. As long as there's still time to lose myself in this tranquil atmosphere and the vastness of the living room. The church bells droned, declaring it's noontime. Here I lie on, resting my tired mind, my spent body, nursing my bothersome sore throat, while I ponder over how long I can endure this agony, for I have yet another choir to instruct. But not forgetting I'm not to enjoy this rare peaceful memnt, I proclaim: come rain or come shine! And the weather looks like it might pour later. I'm looking forward to it.
Angst vor die ZD-Prufueng...
Meet Edward Bear:
His full name? Glottis Edward.
Lol, what a weird combination of names!!! Glottis comes from the LucasArt game
Grim Fandango, and Edward comes from
you-know-where.
Glottis has been with the Empress since she was in Primary 5 or 6. Can't remember, it's too long ago!! Glottis only got his second name last December. Presently I'm still calling him by both names. Edward out of tenderness, and Glottis out of habit. Can't make up my mind which suits Glottis better, so...
as long as he doesn't get a new name like "Muu" or "Haruka"...I'm just going to smuggle up comfortably in bed tonight.
Sorry, I'm just too tired to complete that sentence. Nacht.
Taihen desu! Kurushii yo...
I realised how much I hated school holidays...
"Sch hols" = extra practices = more travelling = total exhaustion
Only the love of the students keeps me going... somehow. I've to spend at least 17 hours solely with my choirs next week. Arrrggh... *gurgling sound* And it's difficult to catch up with my own students' schedule as well. Because of the school holidays.
Aaaaaah!!! My schedule's all messed up! And I know I'll to skip lunch next Friday. Because Choir I is having their practice from 8am to 11.30, and Choir II 12 to 3pm. I fear
that Friday. And I miss plonging on the piano...! ;_; Was out of house for work this afternoon, and I heard a neighbour practising on the instrument. As amateurish as he/she may sound, it made me feel jealous... I want the time to stay home and caress the ivories! The sweet sound of the hammers striking the strings. For once I truly miss it.
Hopefully next week will swiftly pass and I can get back to usual normal (though still too flexible) schedule. But you know, they always say - a watched pot never boils. ;____;
Heute ist Welt Frau Tag.
So schaute ich letzte Nacht von Deutsche Welle. Soll ich glücklich sein? Ich bin nicht sicher, whahahaha. Aber ich weiss, dass ich spät für meinen Arbeit sein werde! So... ich muss jetzt gehen... Schade... Es ist so leise im Bibliothek. Und denn am nachmittags werde ich mit Artoo treffen. Das habe ich mich sehr gefreut.
Und dann, tschüss...!
Noch nervös... und fröhlich, natürlich!
I'm being such a silly wimp again. Had met the Head of Language just now and had the formal application form filled up. So it's on its way to Germany later today... Had a hearty chat with Frau Schäfer too, and I was so nervous filling in my particulars and stuff, lol. Again I'm getting terribly over-emotional all over again. But hey, do forgive me for being so silly! This is really my first time.
So this is it. My scholarship isn't going to fly away. Really. I'm still not quite living in reality, although I've started dreaming (and drooling) about what I'm going to do in Germany (Munich, hopefully!). I've applied for either June or July in Munich - and crossing my fingers the people over in Germany will approve of the applications.
Still have 3-4 weeks to wait before Frau Schäfer gets their reply. *crosses fingers, and starts to perform the
kuji-in without breaking my fourth finger, hopefully*
Lol. That last sentence was a really un-serious one. Yurushite ne.
Sashiburi desu yo~~~~~~~~~~!
The Blog is back!! I have no idea what happened to the template html codes, half of which just poofed and vanished suddenly, but whatever it was, I've tried my best to recall all the stuff back from the previous template.
So what you're seeing now is a remake. Yay!
Took me more than two hours to bring the site up. Bleh. =____________=
Anyway, if you think you missed any post during this blog's absence, please help yourselves to
my livejournal. Tralalalala~~~~
And I flee.
When I wake up tomorrow it might all be just a dream
I have something to announce...
...for that matter, I'm still trembling in shock.
My write-in letter for the German scholarship has been approved.
...that meaning, I'm granted a one-month scholarship to study German in Germany.
One month may not seem long, but the fact is - only two scholarships are given out by the school in a year.
And I am the
one out of two.
It's really hard to sleep now. Try living in disbelief. Try breathing in disbelief. Sigh... And I'm the only one who knows that right now, because I read the Head of Department's email at 1.30 am and everyone is already asleep... The joy and disbelief are too overwhelming for me to keep the news to myself. Hence this post.
I was reading the email in
disbelief. Though I could understand what was being written, I had to double check the contents with a German dictionary to make sure I wasn't mistaken. I mean, perhaps I had learnt the opposite meaning of the words instead, right?
No, I'm not breaking into my hysterical mode now. Coz it's too good to be true. Just imagine - one month, alone in Germany? Accomodation is provided, so I assume I'll have my own room to dwell in... Not room-sharing, that is. And... there are so many places I wanted to visit! And firstly I have to overcome the language barrier there too! Just imagine that. One month
alone in a foreign land that speaks a foreign language. Wow. I have dreamt about that before, but dreaming and a few months to reality are two
very different things. And I already have issues coping with reality.
Now I just have to reply the Head of Department's mail and state which month I would like to start on my "new experience", and where (which state) I would like to study in.
Any suggestions? I would love to study in Munich though - that's one strong feeling of mine. Any tips of what to be aware of when in Germany (or overseas in particular) are also welcomed! I need all the help I can get - it's going to be my first time living alone far away from home. Will be asking friends for advices if they don't read this blog.
In any case, I'm going to repeat myself again. This is going to be a difficult night to achieve any form of sleeping. I simply cannot believe it.
